Muddy Boots and All

The Imperfection of Being Human

Muddy Boots and All

I received such an outpouring of love from my first essay in the series Chronic Illness is a Spiritual Journey that I wrote this unplanned piece – not really part of the series but still related – to express my gratitude.

Most of us have heard the phrase “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin). I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that last part, the human part. Human bodies are imperfect. They are vulnerable, they break down, they wear out – and they are meant to.

And yet, despite the fact that we all have these time-dated devices in this physical experience, sometimes there is still a stigma around having health issues. It's as if, despite all we know, a part of us still believes we are supposed to be perfect. And that expectation extends beyond health: There are messages that we are “supposed to” not only be perfectly healthy but no struggles with finances or relationships, career, etc., etc., etc. The only place that kind of “perfection” exists is on social media and dare I say a lot of what shows up as “perfect” isn’t really real anyway.

It feels like this stigma is a residue of long-ago shame that came along with metaphysical blackmail territory, that as spiritual beings, we were somehow supposed to be “above it all.” That was never true, but somehow it got crystallized within us like a small, silent whisper: The voice of the negative ego, whose statements too often start with “If you’re so spiritual, why aren’t you (fill in the blank) …” or “If you’re so spiritual, why don’t you have (fill in the blank)?”

I have a self-communication rule that works pretty well for the most part: If I wouldn’t say it to a friend, I won’t say it to myself. I can’t imagine saying “If you’re so spiritual” to anyone, especially a friend.

While I don’t believe that ego voice, I still want to listen to it so that I don’t allow its residue to haunt me. I have trudged through some muddy pathways, but even when I find my way clear of them, there is still residue on my boots. I am not going to be embarrassed that my boots are not clean, though. I am human, after all. On a spiritual ride, with all that it entails. Muddy boots and all.